Dorothy Parker Quotes

If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.

[Suggesting an epitaph for herself:] This is on me.

The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.

London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.

Of Orson Welles: It's like meeting God without dying.

Men They hail you as their morning star Because you are the way you are. If you return the sentiment, They'll try to make you different; And once they have you, safe and sound, They want to change you all around. Your moods and ways they put a curse on; They'd make of you another person. They cannot let you go your gait; They influence and educate. They'd alter all that they admired. They make me sick, they make me tired.

His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.

The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.

The affair between Margot Asquith and Margot Asquith will live as one of the prettiest love stories in all literature.

[On Katharine Hepburn's stage performance:] She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B.

Sure, you make money writing on the coast ... but that money is like so much compressed snow. It goes so fast it melts in your hand.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

... if this world were anything near what it should be there would be no more need of a Book Week than there would be a of a Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children.

Hold your pen and spare your voice.

[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.