The whole pot-to-alcohol thing is a huge issue with me, because I've grown to hate drunks so much, and like potheads.

No one really needs to defend drinking. That's something that frustrates me as a comic: I have to play clubs where selling booze runs the business, so crowds get drunk and yell out a bunch of stupid stuff at me.

Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.

I have been in kind of a sexual dry spell lately. In the past few years I've only had sex in months that end in arch... in years that have an Olympics.

Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up about it.

[Deadpool] is definitely squirm-inducing. It's a pretty hard R, violence-wise. But cartoony, also. Maybe fast-forward through to torture scenes.

I know there's a lot of nasty humor directed at celebrities, but my feeling is, in most cases, they deserve it.