Nostalgia: A device that removes the ruts and potholes from memory lane.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

A child is a person who can't understand why someone would give away a perfectly good kitten.

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage.

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

There's nothing like having grandchildren to restore your faith in humanity.