One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.

In debating the respective merits of dogs and cats, not having to walk a cat when it's 20 below zero deserves consideration.

Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.

The reason people blame things on the previous generation is that there's only one other choice.

Wisdom is the quality that keeps you from getting into situations where you need it.

Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.

Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe.