The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.

An alibi is a reason with a bad reputation.

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.

The reason people blame things on the previous generation is that there's only one other choice.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

It's a wise person who knows the difference between free speech and cheap talk.

To err is human; to admit it, superhuman.