Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.
Spring is when you feel like whistling even with a shoe full of slush.
Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.
A pun is the lowest form of humor, unless you thought of it yourself.
For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work.
A weed is a plant that has mastered every survival skill except for learning how to grow in rows.