The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.

A clean basement, garage and attic are signs of an empty life.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.

Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.