The trouble with class reunions is that old flames have become even older.

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.

If all the cars in the United States were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.

There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 am. It could be a right number.

There must be a happy medium somewhere between being totally informed and blissfully unaware.