Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.

For every little kid who still believes in Santa Claus, there is at least one adult who still believes in professional wrestling.

Establishing goals is all right if you don't let them deprive you of interesting detours.

How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?

Heredity is a splendid phenomenon that relieves us of responsibility for our shortcomings.

One nice thing about telling a clean joke is there's a good chance no one's heard it before.

Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.