Some people just join the military because they need college money. Then they're idiots and college wasn't going to help.

What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

I was terrified when my doctor told me that I had a unique and interesting personality trait, but then he told me about new Zoloft or Prozac and now I just take three pills a day and I blend right into this horrible inbred corporate landscape.

Abortion is green! I think its irrefutable, but people don't want to hear that. For most people, having children is an instinctual, natural desire and the last thing they want to do is believe that it has any detrimental side, or if they do believe it, they think it's different for them because they live in a gated community or whatever the reason.

I'm pretty drunk and bored with yelling at the stone walls that are your minds.

Not only are the voices in your head real, but they're accurate as well.