AA makes Scientology look credible.

I'd get demolitions experts to rig mother to implode like a skyscraper.

Invent new drugs, that's what you should be doing... fight to get new weirder ones... and weirder establishments to do them in.

People hate people just cause they want someone different to hate.

We have no healthcare and we have all the guns in the world, it makes you think twice before you start throwing punches in a bar.

I've never tried to drive my career in any particular direction. I've always been an in-the-moment, live-for-today guy. I've never had a goal, and nearly everything I've done has been an accident. I just play to me, and if I can amuse myself, I consider it a victory.

I'm just funnier when I'm drunk. Not falling-down drunk, just drunk enough to lose the self-doubt.