There should be no such thing as a vice law. Every vice is only a bad habit, and the punishment is inherent in the act.

I have a picture I keep in my wallet of my father's corpse... I keep that picture in my wallet to show people who show me baby pictures.

I'm pretty drunk and bored with yelling at the stone walls that are your minds.

He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.

he ones that bother me the most are the media saying, "He's like the next Bill Hicks." It's supposed to be complimentary, but then all these Bill Hicks fans show up thinking you're going to be like him, and then go, "You're no Bill Hicks." And I'm like, "I never wanted to try to be like him, I don't think I'm anything like him at all, and now you're mad at me for not being him because a journalist didn't have a better reference."

Old people always tell you: 'When you've been around as long I have, then you can argue.' As soon as they're ripped off, it's a different story.

I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.