He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.

Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.

The only way I thought I could do a greatest hits album is to do it in a prison where they have no f**king idea who I am. I'd do what I consider the best of those old, early CDs before I did DVDs. A women's prison would be even better, but it has to be English-speaking.

Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.

I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night.

Tradition and heritage are all dead people's baggage, stop carrying it. Move forward.

Coward is the most misused word in our society.