If I say f*** the government, some will clap because they agree and some will clap just because you said f***. I've had countless audience members offer me free drugs but I also got free hernia surgery.

Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house?

We have no healthcare and we have all the guns in the world, it makes you think twice before you start throwing punches in a bar.

I'm in a perfect position. I don't want to be more famous and I can't lose sponsors, so I can say anything I want.

The only legitimate excuse you could have for having a baby in those dire, war torn, famine struck conditions - would be to eat it.

Did you ever try to sleep sober?

Your instinct is your true god. Follow it.