What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

I used to do boiler room telemarketing for a living, like hardcore fraud stuff that gets busted on 60 Minutes every week.

Love is such an arbitrary thing. I love my mom. I love pancakes.

Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.

I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.

In 20 years of comedy, I've probably had a dozen good points.