The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.
Doug StanhopeIf you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.
Doug StanhopeI drink every night. But I don't hang out and party. Not that I'm selling out Madison Square Garden, but in the old days after a show you could hang out with a few people. But now you're hanging around with 20 people, all of whom don't know each other, and they're all, "Leave my outgoing greeting on my voice mail, man, come on!"
Doug Stanhope