I'm not saying drinking is all that great but you know it's got benefits; you can't smoke somebody pretty.

Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it.

Here's the path to sobriety: Play the Ron Paul drinking game. Watch CNN and take a drink every time someone says his name.

Religion is by no means a proper subject of conversation in a mixed company.

Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.

I'm not the one-take wonder that a lot people think I am.

I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner was the problem on that? That's why I'm a bad lover? Do you have a pill that's gonna make me care if she cums? That would be a medical miracle.