I'm not saying drinking is all that great but you know it's got benefits; you can't smoke somebody pretty.

He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

Abortion is green! I think its irrefutable, but people don't want to hear that. For most people, having children is an instinctual, natural desire and the last thing they want to do is believe that it has any detrimental side, or if they do believe it, they think it's different for them because they live in a gated community or whatever the reason.

They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.

It is a great advantage for any man to be able to talk or hear, neither ignorantly nor absurdly, upon any subject; for I have known people, who have not said one word, hear ignorantly and absurdly; it has appeared by their inattentive and unmeaning faces.