That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

I drink every night. But I don't hang out and party. Not that I'm selling out Madison Square Garden, but in the old days after a show you could hang out with a few people. But now you're hanging around with 20 people, all of whom don't know each other, and they're all, "Leave my outgoing greeting on my voice mail, man, come on!"

Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.

"This is Lakshmi Singh." It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.

If I die soon, don't ever say I died too young.