I'm a bit of a potty mouth. My dad used to wash out my mouth with soap, but that was just to get rid of any traces of his DNA.

He's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.

At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless.

Life is like a movie, if you've sat through more than half of it and it’s sucked every second so far, it probably isn't going to get great right at the end and make it all worthwhile. None should blame you for walking out early.

They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.

Before modern medicine, would pussies just generally rot up inside you and fall out of you like spoiled oysters on the sidewalk?

Artists who say that they're artists: usually people who need a job.