The first five times that you bang someone and the last million times are two different worlds.

Separation of Church and State is the perineum of America and the episiotomy didn't hold.

I have the kind of show that reminds you of your problems, and then I talk about other problems you didn't even know you had until tonight.

Get the right to marry - and then don't.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night.

I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.