I've never tried to drive my career in any particular direction. I've always been an in-the-moment, live-for-today guy. I've never had a goal, and nearly everything I've done has been an accident. I just play to me, and if I can amuse myself, I consider it a victory.

Unfortunately this is where comedy works, where people are the most miserable.

Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four years?

I do good things in my life, too. It's just that none of them are funny.

If second hand smoke is killing that many people and nicotine is so addictive then why is no one addicted to second hand smoke?

You forget, when you're in the Scandinavian countries, you forget they don't speak English first and they speak better than I do.

Your instinct is your true god. Follow it.