I've never tried to drive my career in any particular direction. I've always been an in-the-moment, live-for-today guy. I've never had a goal, and nearly everything I've done has been an accident. I just play to me, and if I can amuse myself, I consider it a victory.

I don't know. Both my parents are dead. So? Wait, I got pictures of their corpses in my wallet. I had them blown up as murals. Here.

The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.

Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.

If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.

Man, it just cost me five dollars to beat my own meat... God bless the United States of America.