I immediately split the crowd. I thought about coming on every night and shouting, 'Gay pride, white power!' just to confuse people.

Every 17 seconds a child dies on this planet from no clean drinking water. Good. Let's try to speed it up... there are too many people.

What ever happened to freak shows? Back in the twenties when elephant man was born at least he had a job waiting for him.

Just for being a religion at all you're as complicit as the rest in the retardation of the human intellectual progress.

The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying: 'What are you going to do about that, faggot?' That is cowardice. When the bullets start flying past that jock's saucer-shaped ears, that's not cowardice. That's payback.

Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.

I'm forty four; I'm way closer to dead than I am life of the party.