Abortion is green! I think its irrefutable, but people don't want to hear that. For most people, having children is an instinctual, natural desire and the last thing they want to do is believe that it has any detrimental side, or if they do believe it, they think it's different for them because they live in a gated community or whatever the reason.

I hate when your friends quit drinking on you, don't you? It's sad. I've lost more friends to AA than Liberace did to the virus. It's sad to see 'em go. You see a thirty day chip on your buddy's key ring, it's like seeing a toe tag on his cold, stiff corpse.

The key to a good life: excess in moderation. They'll tell you moderation is the key to life, but that's bullshit.

Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.

Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

Separation of Church and State is the perineum of America and the episiotomy didn't hold.