Artists who say that they're artists: usually people who need a job.

Get the right to marry - and then don't.

All illegal narcotics are medicinal. Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it, with little or no side effects if used as directed. Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile. You should be inventing new drugs is what you should be doing! Newer, crazier drugs... and more holes, that's what you ladies need!

There’s a fraudulent root element of comedy in that we say things night after night as though they are rolling effortlessly from the brain and off the tongue when in fact they are crafted over weeks and months and years.

If you really believe death leads to eternal bliss then why are you wearing a seatbelt?

People hate people just cause they want someone different to hate.

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met