Artists who say that they're artists: usually people who need a job.

There's a fine line between being a sicko and an adventurous spirit.

I recommend to you, in my last, an innocent piece of art: that of flattering people behind their backs, in presence of those who, to make their own court, much more than for your sake, will not fail to repeat, and even amplify, the praise to the party concerned. This is of all flattery the most pleasing, and consequently the most effectual.

If I say f*** the government, some will clap because they agree and some will clap just because you said f***. I've had countless audience members offer me free drugs but I also got free hernia surgery.

Invent new drugs, that's what you should be doing... fight to get new weirder ones... and weirder establishments to do them in.

Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house?

Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!