If I die soon, don't ever say I died too young.

Every vice is already a punishment in itself... you don't need a ticket on top of it.

You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.

I drank, smoked and did drugs to get where I'm at.

Canada, the drinking age is 18, that's unnecessary. Nobody wants to get loaded around people who have hope and their whole lives still ahead of them.

As long as the people who kinda wanna go kill other people are going to go kill other people who kinda wanna go kill other people, you're killing all the right people and opening up all the best parking spaces.

Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.