If I die soon, don't ever say I died too young.

Invent new drugs, that's what you should be doing... fight to get new weirder ones... and weirder establishments to do them in.

I used to do boiler room telemarketing for a living, like hardcore fraud stuff that gets busted on 60 Minutes every week.

Nothing against comedy clubs, they work. But when you're sitting with a tablecloth and a candle and an appetizer menu, three-drink minimum, it can feel more like a dinner theater than a live experience.

I've jammed enough things up my own ass just trying to come on any amphetamine based narcotic.

Before modern medicine, would pussies just generally rot up inside you and fall out of you like spoiled oysters on the sidewalk?

The more business gets involved, the less fun it is.