I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night.

The whole acting and Hollywood [thing], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need to be known anymore than I am. The slight sliver of fame I do have is hard to deal with. If I was actually well-known - I don't even know what to say to people who are at my show when I walk into the venue, much less having waitresses in diners asking for my autograph.

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

I'm forty four; I'm way closer to dead than I am life of the party.

So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps.

The catholic church has a lot more money than any Colombian cartel and they leave a lot more bodies in their wake.

Mutations are exciting, there aren't nearly enough of them.