There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

The only way I thought I could do a greatest hits album is to do it in a prison where they have no f**king idea who I am. I'd do what I consider the best of those old, early CDs before I did DVDs. A women's prison would be even better, but it has to be English-speaking.

People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink.

Before modern medicine, would pussies just generally rot up inside you and fall out of you like spoiled oysters on the sidewalk?

One UK paper described me as a "miserablist", a word I'd never heard before or since. I looked it up and it means someone who can only be happy when they are miserable. Perfect.

Drugs support terrorism? No, your SUV supports terrorism.

I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.