I have the kind of show that reminds you of your problems, and then I talk about other problems you didn't even know you had until tonight.

If second hand smoke is killing that many people and nicotine is so addictive then why is no one addicted to second hand smoke?

When you consider the overpopulation in this world ... homosexuality is completely underrated in this society.

I wish the 50 states would break up. Lose the centralised government. More choice. How do you want to live, there's 50 different ways! You hate black people? We've a state for that. You wanna have an abortion? Here's a state. I think we should just keep breaking up countries now so they become just individuals.

I am 42 years old and I have $9000, and I am out of ideas. I've nothing to spend it on. I'm bored shitless. I will die with that $9000.

Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.

The Unbookables are supposed to be unbookable. That's what it's all about.