I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.

If you get offended by words - by noises we make with our mouths - it means you were raised by bad parents.

We have no healthcare and we have all the guns in the world, it makes you think twice before you start throwing punches in a bar.

They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to the 90-year-old lying awake at the graveyard shift in the nursing home, groaning with dementia. The only reason he hasn't killed himself is that he hasn't figured out a way he can do it with pudding.

The Mind is everything. Do drugs. But just don't have drugs.

If you're offended by any word in any language, it's probably because your parents were unfit to raise a child.

I'm pretty drunk and bored with yelling at the stone walls that are your minds.