Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.

If you tell me you are going to kill yourself, I'm not going to try to talk you out of it.

The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying: 'What are you going to do about that, faggot?' That is cowardice. When the bullets start flying past that jock's saucer-shaped ears, that's not cowardice. That's payback.

I'll defend child pornography, how about that? What's wrong with seeing some child pornography? What if you watch child pornography because you find it hilarious? Then should it not a protected freedom of speech?

If you need a baby that bad, go down to the pound and get one. Not even a baby - go get an old man. There's unwanted people of all ages, pre-made and waiting for you.

All traditions are stupid unless you came up with it yourself.

Why even moon a sorority girl if they can't see the swingy egg bag part of it?