At least black people knew when they were slaves; you remain clueless.

I love conspiracy theories. I used to just live on it. You know it's all hype and garbage, but you're still really paranoid afterwards. It's fun entertainment.

I think it's probably much easier to do political comedy from a two-party point of view, in that the majority have some sense of what it means to be one or the other.

We must not suppose that, because a man is a rational animal, he will, therefore, always act rationally; or, because he has such or such a predominant passion, that he will act invariably and consequentially in pursuit of it. No, we are complicated machines; and though we have one main spring that gives motion to the whole, we have an infinity of little wheels, which, in their turns, retard, precipitate, and sometime stop that motion.

Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.

I sometimes wonder if necrophiliacs are really into dead people or if they just enjoy the quiet.

America takes credit for giving you freedom that you had anyway. It's like going to a wedding and putting your tag on somebody elses box.