Have you ever thought about registering as a sex offender just so your friends won't bring their kids over to your house?
Doug StanhopeI'm not saying drinking is all that great but you know it's got benefits; you can't smoke somebody pretty.
Doug StanhopeHe's my usual type of fan... a school shooter who didn't have bullets and now he's all awkward and alone.
Doug StanhopeIf I were money-motivated, I would spread insidious lies that marijuana is dangerous and addictive and leads to dancing with white women, that your children are at risk of riding that freight train straight into hell or an opium den. Then I'd parlay that fear into a chain of overpriced "rehab" centers that can cure them and shake Satan from their souls. But I am not that ambitious. I am a drunk.
Doug Stanhope