Statistical high Vegas odds probability is that nothing of any significance will ever happen to you in your entire boring life.

I'm in a perfect position. I don't want to be more famous and I can't lose sponsors, so I can say anything I want.

I go on stage, it's like I'm leading you into battle; you are not all going to be here at the end.

What if I don't want a leader? Where does that vote go? I do good on my own. I don't want to be led.

I've had six or eight hookers in my life. I never woke up the next day thinking man I'm glad I got a hooker last night.

AA makes Scientology look credible.

Why even moon a sorority girl if they can't see the swingy egg bag part of it?