Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.

It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.

Did you ever drink so much of a certain type of alcohol that you get so sick that you can never drink the same kind again ? I've decided that's how I'm going to quit drinking. One-at-a-time.

I used to be a partier, now I'm an alcoholic. It's all in who's judging you.

Excess in moderation: don't drink a few beers every day after work, wait 'till the end of the month and drink all the beers at once.

Courts and camps are the only places to learn the world in.

Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!