Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.

You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.

I've never tried to drive my career in any particular direction. I've always been an in-the-moment, live-for-today guy. I've never had a goal, and nearly everything I've done has been an accident. I just play to me, and if I can amuse myself, I consider it a victory.

The fact is that really no comedian sets out to offend you. Some comics enjoy the challenge of taking a subject that is likely to be found offensive and trying to make it funny‚ but the object is still to make you laugh. Offense is only a calculated risk. It's highly unlikely that a comedian whose only goal was to repulse you would ever make it past an open-mic stage, far less build a long career of touring theatres and television appearances.

Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.

I immediately split the crowd. I thought about coming on every night and shouting, 'Gay pride, white power!' just to confuse people.

"This is Lakshmi Singh." It's like a tadpole dying in muck. Take a drink. Wet your mouth.