Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.

I'm just funnier when I'm drunk. Not falling-down drunk, just drunk enough to lose the self-doubt.

Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.

I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.

I don't know. Both my parents are dead. So? Wait, I got pictures of their corpses in my wallet. I had them blown up as murals. Here.

Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!

What did you learn in school that you still use today? Go ahead teachers, tell me. What? Fear, conformity, don't question authority.