It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.

Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.

Mutations are exciting. They try to fix 'em when they come out. Did you see the two-headed baby they killed last month when they tried to cut it apart? That was hilarious!

Everything that is going to kill you is extremely appetizing.

I don't know. Both my parents are dead. So? Wait, I got pictures of their corpses in my wallet. I had them blown up as murals. Here.

I go on stage, it's like I'm leading you into battle; you are not all going to be here at the end.

The catholic church has a lot more money than any Colombian cartel and they leave a lot more bodies in their wake.