It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

A lot of the Olympic games just boil down to genetics. Michael Phelps is genetically built to swim better than other people if he trains the same way. You might as well have a competition for who's the tallest, and act like it's anyone's game!

What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.

Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met

They should raise the alcohol age to 60, so at least you'd have something to look forward to at this point.

Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it.