It was either me or Confucius that said the journey of a thousand miles begins with a vicious ass raping at airport security.

Every 17 seconds a child dies on this planet from no clean drinking water. Good. Let's try to speed it up... there are too many people.

There are some occasions in which a man must tell half his secret, in order to conceal the rest; but there is seldom one in which a man should tell all. Great skill is necessary to know how far to go, and where to stop.

Before you ask for the people to rise up and take what's theirs, meet the people, because they're really, really, bafoons.

Drugs support terrorism? No, your SUV supports terrorism.

It is a great advantage for any man to be able to talk or hear, neither ignorantly nor absurdly, upon any subject; for I have known people, who have not said one word, hear ignorantly and absurdly; it has appeared by their inattentive and unmeaning faces.

There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.