Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.
Excess in moderation: don't drink a few beers every day after work, wait 'till the end of the month and drink all the beers at once.
High definition ruined a lot of things that I used to hold sacrosanct in pornography.
Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile.
Drugs support terrorism? No, your SUV supports terrorism.
If you're going to kill yourself just do me one favor: say it was because of my act. Can you do that? I need the press.