People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink.

The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying: 'What are you going to do about that, faggot?' That is cowardice. When the bullets start flying past that jock's saucer-shaped ears, that's not cowardice. That's payback.

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

When you consider the overpopulation in this world ... homosexuality is completely underrated in this society.

Child pornography is the only crime that you cannot report to the police as an eyewitness.

Shouldn't the long-term goal of any society be complete unemployment?

Every 17 seconds a child dies on this planet from no clean drinking water. Good. Let's try to speed it up... there are too many people.