In 20 years of comedy, I've probably had a dozen good points.

They never differentiate between drug users and drug addicts... I've done most drugs there are socially, I never had a problem.

Sex is free fun for poor people.

So you stick something up your ass, and you hope it might work, and it usually helps.

Excess in moderation: don't drink a few beers every day after work, wait 'till the end of the month and drink all the beers at once.

The internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club owners deciding if they are funny or not.

I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now.