Every vice is already a punishment in itself... you don't need a ticket on top of it.

My mother was always the one with the dark, really filthy sense of humor. She was a vulgar woman. She used to tell me to do comedy before I even tried it. She was always up for any gag.

I'd get demolitions experts to rig mother to implode like a skyscraper.

There's only two types of people who are against drugs: the people who have never done drugs and the people who really sucked at doing drugs.

When I say that asian women are beautiful it's not a sexual thing. I'm not being degrading, I find them sexually repulsive.

I need you to love me, I don't like me, either, if that helps.

High definition ruined a lot of things that I used to hold sacrosanct in pornography.