The more business gets involved, the less fun it is.

Before modern medicine, would pussies just generally rot up inside you and fall out of you like spoiled oysters on the sidewalk?

Statistical high Vegas odds probability is that nothing of any significance will ever happen to you in your entire boring life.

You never hear in the news, "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the north."

I wish the 50 states would break up. Lose the centralised government. More choice. How do you want to live, there's 50 different ways! You hate black people? We've a state for that. You wanna have an abortion? Here's a state. I think we should just keep breaking up countries now so they become just individuals.

Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating.

Why even moon a sorority girl if they can't see the swingy egg bag part of it?