The more business gets involved, the less fun it is.

Here's the path to sobriety: Play the Ron Paul drinking game. Watch CNN and take a drink every time someone says his name.

Before modern medicine, would pussies just generally rot up inside you and fall out of you like spoiled oysters on the sidewalk?

High definition ruined a lot of things that I used to hold sacrosanct in pornography.

Sex is free fun for poor people.

The key to a good life: excess in moderation. They'll tell you moderation is the key to life, but that's bullshit.

I'll defend child pornography, how about that? What's wrong with seeing some child pornography? What if you watch child pornography because you find it hilarious? Then should it not a protected freedom of speech?