America takes credit for giving you freedom that you had anyway. It's like going to a wedding and putting your tag on somebody elses box.

Did you ever drink so much of a certain type of alcohol that you get so sick that you can never drink the same kind again ? I've decided that's how I'm going to quit drinking. One-at-a-time.

The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying: 'What are you going to do about that, faggot?' That is cowardice. When the bullets start flying past that jock's saucer-shaped ears, that's not cowardice. That's payback.

It's our flaws who make us who we are.

You forget, when you're in the Scandinavian countries, you forget they don't speak English first and they speak better than I do.

The key to a good life: excess in moderation. They'll tell you moderation is the key to life, but that's bullshit.

I don't like being in the UK for every other reason aside from the show. It's aesthetically uncomfortable to me on almost every level for reasons that might sound petty but I can't get past. The audiences are far more challenging and while I wouldn't say I prefer it, I certainly need it to ward off my inherent laziness.