America takes credit for giving you freedom that you had anyway. It's like going to a wedding and putting your tag on somebody elses box.

Sex and children are the two things that delude logic the most in this society.

I'd get demolitions experts to rig mother to implode like a skyscraper.

We must not suppose that, because a man is a rational animal, he will, therefore, always act rationally; or, because he has such or such a predominant passion, that he will act invariably and consequentially in pursuit of it. No, we are complicated machines; and though we have one main spring that gives motion to the whole, we have an infinity of little wheels, which, in their turns, retard, precipitate, and sometime stop that motion.

In 20 years of comedy, I've probably had a dozen good points.

Your instinct is your true god. Follow it.

Religious tolerance. No! Zero tolerance for any type of religion.