There's times to be dainty and times to be a pig.

Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four years?

I'm in a perfect position. I don't want to be more famous and I can't lose sponsors, so I can say anything I want.

In 20 years of comedy, I've probably had a dozen good points.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

Comedy can always be taken the wrong way. If I do a bit that is meant to diffuse racism or sexism, Im not going to avoid it on the chance that a small portion of the audience might take it the wrong way.

Coward is the most misused word in our society.