What did you learn in school that you still use today? Go ahead teachers, tell me. What? Fear, conformity, don't question authority.

I'm just funnier when I'm drunk. Not falling-down drunk, just drunk enough to lose the self-doubt.

I'm not saying drinking is all that great but you know it's got benefits; you can't smoke somebody pretty.

That place is so behind the times, you can't even get AIDS there yet.

I immediately split the crowd. I thought about coming on every night and shouting, 'Gay pride, white power!' just to confuse people.

I am a player in life, not an observer. I look at herpes the way you look at a scraped knee.

There should be no such thing as a vice law. Every vice is only a bad habit, and the punishment is inherent in the act.