Charlie Chaplin said something to the effect that humor is an act of defiance, that we must laugh in the face of our helplessness in the forces of nature or go insane. And where is he now? Dead.

Invent new drugs, that's what you should be doing... fight to get new weirder ones... and weirder establishments to do them in.

Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.

Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile.

Paralympics... fascinating because just watching anyone with a major disability trying to do everyday chores is fun to watch.

Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating.

Abortion is green! I think its irrefutable, but people don't want to hear that. For most people, having children is an instinctual, natural desire and the last thing they want to do is believe that it has any detrimental side, or if they do believe it, they think it's different for them because they live in a gated community or whatever the reason.