It is a great advantage for any man to be able to talk or hear, neither ignorantly nor absurdly, upon any subject; for I have known people, who have not said one word, hear ignorantly and absurdly; it has appeared by their inattentive and unmeaning faces.

We have no healthcare and we have all the guns in the world, it makes you think twice before you start throwing punches in a bar.

Babies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating.

The Mind is everything. Do drugs. But just don't have drugs.

Love is such an arbitrary thing. I love my mom. I love pancakes.

I'm pretty drunk and bored with yelling at the stone walls that are your minds.

You do bits and you fake anger and you write a bit and you have passion for it. Then you do it too many times and you have to work up the anger... and I've never had to do that with Dr. Drew Pintsky. Dr. Drew is to medicine what David Blaine is to science.