You want to help mother Earth? Try sodomy. Sodomy is eco-friendly, and abortion is green.

People talk to you and they try to convince you that they like what they do just because it sucks less than what they used to do... which sucked a lot.

A real cop fights real crime. A vice cop's only job is to ruin the party.

Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile.

I couldn't possibly explain why the common person would be against something like that. It's all rooted in sexual hang-ups. The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society. I don't know why anyone would want to get married heterosexually, so why they'd be against homosexual marriage is flummoxing. I only use that word when I'm talking to someone from the British press.

I love when you get boner spam for boner pills and the subject is Be a better lover. Oh, the boner was the problem on that? That's why I'm a bad lover? Do you have a pill that's gonna make me care if she cums? That would be a medical miracle.

Don't eat a mushroom stem and see colors, eat the whole bag and see GOD