The internet has done nothing but good for comedy all around. Comedians no longer have to rely on TV execs and club owners deciding if they are funny or not.

Nothing against comedy clubs, they work. But when you're sitting with a tablecloth and a candle and an appetizer menu, three-drink minimum, it can feel more like a dinner theater than a live experience.

The Mind is everything. Do drugs. But just don't have drugs.

I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasnt particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.

Every vice is already a punishment in itself... you don't need a ticket on top of it.

I've been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better.

Right at the end of the big wall of vibrators, $29.95, big rubber fist. Thirty bucks! Just in time for mothers day.