The reputation of generosity is to be purchased pretty cheap; it does not depend so much upon a man's general expense, as it does upon his giving handsomely where it is proper to give at all. A man, for instance, who should give a servant four shillings, would pass for covetous, while he who gave him a crown, would be reckoned generous; so that the difference of those two opposite characters, turns upon one shilling.

I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.

Mutations are exciting, there aren't nearly enough of them.

You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.

The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying: 'What are you going to do about that, faggot?' That is cowardice. When the bullets start flying past that jock's saucer-shaped ears, that's not cowardice. That's payback.

High definition ruined a lot of things that I used to hold sacrosanct in pornography.

I couldn't be a responsible enough parent if my kid was born with a new suit and a full-time job.