I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasnt particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.
Doug StanhopeA lot of the Olympic games just boil down to genetics. Michael Phelps is genetically built to swim better than other people if he trains the same way. You might as well have a competition for who's the tallest, and act like it's anyone's game!
Doug StanhopeBabies are like poems. They're beautiful to their creator, but to other people, they're silly and they're irritating.
Doug StanhopeI recommend to you, in my last, an innocent piece of art: that of flattering people behind their backs, in presence of those who, to make their own court, much more than for your sake, will not fail to repeat, and even amplify, the praise to the party concerned. This is of all flattery the most pleasing, and consequently the most effectual.
Doug Stanhope