I'm forty four; I'm way closer to dead than I am life of the party.
Some people just join the military because they need college money. Then they're idiots and college wasn't going to help.
Man, it just cost me five dollars to beat my own meat... God bless the United States of America.
Life is like animal porn, it's not for everyone.
Doing stand-up takes the fun out of being funny.
Race, Religion, Ethnic Pride, Nationalism does nothing but teach you how to hate people you have never met