Comedy can always be taken the wrong way. If I do a bit that is meant to diffuse racism or sexism, Im not going to avoid it on the chance that a small portion of the audience might take it the wrong way.

I'm not saying drinking is all that great but you know it's got benefits; you can't smoke somebody pretty.

My first open mic, I drank a full pitcher of beer by myself. I wasn't afraid of being in front of people as much as, Is this funny?

I've been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better.

The whole institution of marriage itself really has no place in a progressive society.

The only way I thought I could do a greatest hits album is to do it in a prison where they have no f**king idea who I am. I'd do what I consider the best of those old, early CDs before I did DVDs. A women's prison would be even better, but it has to be English-speaking.

Religious tolerance. No! Zero tolerance for any type of religion.