What I've lost in years I've gained in wisdom. Bullshit, I haven't learnt one thing in the last 15 years that hasn't just depressed me more.

I am a very mediocre intellect, at best, and I am smarter than most people I know - and that terrifies me.

Some people just join the military because they need college money. Then they're idiots and college wasn't going to help.

"Close your mouth when you chew." That was my mother's big one.Why do people eat lunch together? I want to eat by myself. Chewing is one of the most revolting things to me. Wind makes me unnerved, too.

Not only are the voices in your head real, but they're accurate as well.

Here's the path to sobriety: Play the Ron Paul drinking game. Watch CNN and take a drink every time someone says his name.

They never differentiate between drug users and drug addicts... I've done most drugs there are socially, I never had a problem.