I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.

Love is such an arbitrary thing. I love my mom. I love pancakes.

Whatever your problems are, keep in mind that you die at the end of all this. Lets get out there, brutalize ourselves and laugh at those certain pricks who take it seriously, like there is any way to win in all this.

Raccoons don't need to do poppers in order to come while they're having anonymous same-sex interludes in a highway rest area.

Pussy really is the ultimate motivator of all mankind. No, don't clap, this is a flaw in the system!

I've been doing a lot of drugs in the last few weeks and drinking less, and I feel much better.

Old people always tell you: 'When you've been around as long I have, then you can argue.' As soon as they're ripped off, it's a different story.