I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.

Your sins are what make you fantastic. It's what makes you alive. You should wear your sins on your sleeve. You should be trying to top your sins on a daily basis.

If you tell me you are going to kill yourself, I'm not going to try to talk you out of it.

Boredom is a disease worse than cancer. Drugs cure it.

If you're going to kill yourself just do me one favor: say it was because of my act. Can you do that? I need the press.

There's a lot of meth [in Bisbee]. So there's an ex-cop-car Tahoe and a BE DRUG FREE van parked right in front of my house.

It is a great advantage for any man to be able to talk or hear, neither ignorantly nor absurdly, upon any subject; for I have known people, who have not said one word, hear ignorantly and absurdly; it has appeared by their inattentive and unmeaning faces.